


Afterglow

by Lia_Petros



Series: Supercorp: Ray of Light [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Lena Luthor-centric, Post-Crisis on Infinite Earth, Post-Crisis on Infinite Earths Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe), Slow Burn, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Stubborn Idiots to Friends to Lovers, SuperCorp, Supergirl (TV 2015) Season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22484296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lia_Petros/pseuds/Lia_Petros
Summary: She remembers how much her blood boiled by hearing the newcomer had known Kara’s secret before her — how she felt betrayed once again because of course the new girl in town would be more deserving of such a secret than Lena.But the young Luthor also remembers the guilt that embraced her afterward.—Spending one night talking about their relationship isn't enough to mend things between the former best friends. What do they need to mend their broken bond?
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Series: Supercorp: Ray of Light [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1617532
Comments: 12
Kudos: 175





	Afterglow

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is the second part of a series, but I hope people can read as a stand-alone story as well. I've got too excited about the idea and decided to make this second part. Also, I did some minor editing, mostly concerning grammar and wording.

_“I’ve only told three people. Winn, Lucy Lane, and Nia.”_

She remembers how much her blood boiled by hearing the newcomer had known Kara’s secret before her — how she felt betrayed once again because course the new girl in town would be more deserving than Lena.

But the young Luthor also remembers the guilt that suffocated her afterward.

_“You told Nia Nal first?!”_

Yes, she has lashed out. No, she isn’t proud of herself for that.

_“Her sister was being a transphobic ass-hat towards her just because Nia had the heirloom power that only the Nal women can inherit and I, I thought that if she knew about, about me, her pain would lessen and I, I also needed to share with someone about what I was going through with Alex, so I, yeah, I told her before. I--”_

Lena doesn’t pride herself on having snap out so badly after listening so much. The thing is, the conversation they had days, weeks ago didn’t make everything between them fine. The raven-haired woman was still hurting. Such pain doesn’t just go away, especially when the more Kara talked, the more secrets Lena was finding out.

She was left completely in the dark to the point she couldn’t be there for her best friend when the sister of the said best friend didn’t have any memories of the said best friend being an alien, let alone of hero.

How Kara could rob Lena that when all the woman wanted was a chance to be there for the blonde after being cared for Kara so many times?

Also, the alien _lied_ to her.

_“All other people, either they already knew, or they figure it out on their own.”_

So, she demanded Kara to list all the people who had figured it out on their own because the young woman enjoyed the feeling of being utterly _stupid_ to not see something so obvious. It has been right before her, under her nose, since day two.

_I flew here. On a bus_.

How could she allow herself to be that dense and plain blind?

Lena wished she could forgive Kara after their last talk. They’ve talked for hours — the sun rose but the pair didn’t notice until Lena’s alarm went off at 7:30 am.

At least she can say they are not in bad terms. At the same time, they are in not good terms either. They are on working terms or just, terms. Like she has heard years ago in Gotham City a kid saying he was whelmed; not underwhelmed, not overwhelmed, just whelmed, whatever that meant. 

At least she can see some light, a ray of light that shyly enters a house to warn that morning is approaching. This means working with Lex is _not_ a good idea. She logically knew that, but she didn’t want to admit to herself. Being stubborn was a trait people once admired on her. Now she has no one to advise her where to draw a line for her own safety. 

(There are moments she feels she’s still a lost child that needs a moral compass.

She remembers overhearing a conversation between the whelmed boy and a red-haired girl in a school-guided tour to the White House — something about kids who have survived traumas or abuses most likely never lived their childhood and teen years in normalcy.

Lena didn’t make much of it especially because the woman didn’t even know these people; they studied at Gotham Academy and she attended to the most exclusive boarding school in the country.

But sometimes Lena thinks about those words and how it may or may not apply to her, especially when she is alone.)

However, her grayish morals are not an excuse for all her choices made so far including siding with her psychotic brother when Lena knows she will be disposed of — if not betrayed — as soon Lex feels like it.

It’s always hard to see light at night, after the sunset.

* * *

Not forgetting what day really is has proven to be a problem in Earth-Prime for those who remember other Earths.

One month ago, on Earth thirty-eight, they were heading to Thanksgiving Day. Now they are close to Valentine’s Day — remembering said holiday makes Lena grimaces as she’s still utterly alone; by choice, although she doesn’t see a reason to go to the get-together the Danvers sisters are planning.

She may be on _terms_ with Kara, but Alex still looks at her distrustfully. Lena understands why and, yes, she _respects_. So, she is keeping her distance for judging it is better this way.

Lena is as ready to ask forgiveness for the Non-Nocere project as Alex Danvers is as ready to forgive her.

Also, why would she join such a happy festivity when all she is enduring right now is pain, hurt and confusion? Yes, a big chunk of her mind disarray can be blamed on the alcohol she has been drinking since her last talk to Kara but Lena doesn’t want to ruin anyone’s party with her-- who knows in what state she will be on the fourteenth day of February?

There is a lot the young Luthor needs to unpack before dealing with the whole Superfriends, and she has never been good on process her own feelings.

(Like why she felt weightless and relieved after her boyfriend Taylor broke things off between them, and why she didn’t despise Lillian for paying him to do it.)

What she does not expect is Supergirl landing on L-Corp (oh, right, _Luthor_ corp) on the day after Valentine’s Day while she is working on finding out any dirt on Lex; she can’t do this, not anymore. Lena can’t pretend he is the good person the _whole Earth_ thinks he is when she knows better than this.

“Lena?” The hesitancy makes Lena’s heartbeat beats weakly and guilty.

“Yes, Super-- Kara,” she winces once she remembers Kara’s request to not be addressed as Supergirl when it is just the two of them and then the woman winces again and knits her brows because _god-damned_ it sounded even worse. The young Luthor clears her throat. “What do you need, Kara?”

The blonde hero enters Lena’s office looking very guarded. It’s strange, still — seeing Kara on Supergirl’s suit or noticing some telltales that the almighty hero _is_ indeed her former best friend who’s awkward, not always confident, sometimes too clumsy for her own good.

How could the raven-haired woman miss all these giveaways? Now that Lena knows, she can’t stop merging the two personas into one and it is so, _so_ weird.

“I, ah, hm, you, you didn’t show up at, at the party yesterday,” Kara is fidgeting with the hem of her cape; Lena would find the scene endearing given another time — if she didn’t know the truth, or if Kara had told her soon enough, but no. It makes her sick at her stomach to see the Superhero acting so much like her former best friend, and at the same time it makes her disoriented with guilt for Kara’s current insecurity and hesitancy is Lena’s fault.

She was the one who damaged the blonde this way.

They damaged each other, actually. What does this say about them as individuals?

“I know,” she gets up from the chair and uses it as a support for her body, “but I didn’t say I would pass by your house.”

Her coldness is accidental; however, Kara doesn’t know as she flinches in reaction.

“I, I know, but I thought that--”

“You thought it wrong,” it’s not a reflex this time. “Your sister hates me and--”

“No, Alex doesn’t hate--”

“--and I respect that. I’ve given her reasons to.”

Something awakens in Kara as she strides towards Lena. Whatever had hit the blonde, she seems full of confidence in an almost arrogant way — very Supergirl-y if the woman would be honest.

“Well, I don’t care.”

“Excuse me? I don’t think I follow.”

“I don’t care if Alex is not liking you very much right now,” give it Kara Danvers to sugar-coat the naked truth, that Alex Danvers would like if Lena Luthor didn’t exist in this Earth, “because I’m tired of taking hers and everyone else’s opinion in consideration when it comes to you.”

The Luthor raises a brow, questioningly.

“I meant that, Lena. I meant when I said that I slipped that I flew on a bus to L-Corp because I felt comfortable with you. I-- yes, I might be a little bad at being subtle but! but it’s true! Please believe me on that.”

Why is her heart beating on her throat? Her head is pounding lightly. She can’t do this; it’s too soon, yet. Kara is pressing her.

“Look, you can say whatever you feel like, Supsk--” she leaves at that, “but I have the right to take it as I want it, too. Don’t deny me that. Don’t deny me time,” her words are honest but harsh as if she is demanding something that is her birthright. 

“And what about what _I_ want?”

“Excuse--”

“I have respected your limits, but you have no idea of what I’ve been through these past months at--”

“--me?! Have you ever thought that maybe it is _your_ fault that I have no clue of what you’ve been through, Supergirl?!”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Why not, it is who you are!”

“It isn’t and if you think that way maybe I have misjudged you entirely because I thought you could understand--”

“How can I, Kara?! How can I understand when you don’t let me process everything you’ve dropped on me?! I’m asking for a time to process all of this while trying to not shut you out this time but you’re making this a hell more difficult than it needs to be!”

What does Kara have on her genes that make Lena lose all her calmness, all her self-control? She always proud herself of being collected and cold without rudeness.

“I just wanted you there, Lena! How could you not see how it was important to me for you to be there!?”

Lena sees it the glossy gleam is Kara’s kind blue eyes. It’s painful to watch it, it’s awful to feel it, too. The guilt mixing up with anger.

Why does it have to hurt so much?

It didn’t hurt this bad when Andrea went behind her back and betrayed her.

Yes, the raven-haired admits to herself — things with Kara have always been more _intense_ but that doesn’t have to _mean_ anything other than that they bonded faster than they should have.

“How couldn’t _you_ see what mattered to me!?” Lena knows it’s cruel to respond to Kara with that question, but her heart is beating loudly. Truth be told, they aren’t being kind to each other lately and that late-night conversation didn’t to that much of good to their broken friendship at the end.

(Being kind to herself isn’t one of Lena’s traits.

Expecting her to be kind towards others that have wronged her after showing so much love is--

_Yes,_ she had let Lex in when the woman thought her brother was sick, but the raven-haired had learned her lesson for real this time — or so she likes to think.

Anyway, what matters is that she can’t be expected to be kind towards Kara when she doesn’t expect any pleasantry from the blonde hero.

Even though she gets it anyway because it is _Kara_.)

“Lena, I--”

“Please, leave.”

The younger woman is tired — she has been feeling tired for a long time — and she assumes the alien reporter feels the same. Kara’s broad shoulders sag and the blonde sighs in a clearly wavering demeanor.

Supergirl leaves without saying goodbye.

It makes Lena bitter and sad.

She has caused that; she has burned the last bridge between them in her stubborn vanity and pain, and it feels wrong to be enveloped by guilt and hurt like the woman is the martyr in this situation.

As wrong as it is in her mind, Lena cries — an ugly agonizing walling that strains her heart instead of lessening the weight of her words and her latest choices. Sleep comes only because of all the crying has worn the woman out even more.

Lena thinks she is done with crying now that she has cried all her tears.

There is no more tear to shed.

Or so she thinks.

* * *

_“Why coming here past three in the morning? What would you do if I wasn’t awake?”_

_“I knew you were awake.”_

_“What-- how?”_

_“Super-hearing?”_

_“Oh, right and that’s_ not _stalker of you at all.”_

Their conversation has been playing on Lena’s mind on infinity loop since their last fight — there’s a Kara-shaped hollow inside the woman’s heart. In hindsight, the Luthor heiress should have known this was bound to happen. Coming from light (according to Lex so maybe he had said that to ease some of Lena’s doubts) never meant she would turn out fine.

Growing up in a toxic family wouldn’t mean the former CEO was able to identify toxic traits on people, let alone on herself.

Perhaps it was time to find help in something other than an expensive bottle of scotch; not that she’s ready but there are many boxes already filling her brain and woman is barely functioning on the few good days she has.

_There wasn’t a single honest moment in our friendship._

_Not, that’s not true!_

Her whole body aches every time all their previous interactions go through her mind, remembering how Kara lied; feeling manipulated was easier than admitting why Lena was in pain, why she felt betrayed.

Andrea had been her best friend since their adolescence but what Rojas did doesn’t measure up, it wasn’t the same — it didn’t break Lena this much.

The whys were in boxes she never dared to open once its content was quickly packed it up there.

“Ah, I got to say, sis, I’m actually enjoying this Leviathan debacle.”

Lena’s thoughts are fortunately cut by her brother’s presence. She has already grown used to him popping in when he feels like.

It _is_ Luthorcorp, after all.

“Hm?” She arches a brow.

“Oh, aren’t you following today’s thrilling news? What, a, disappointment. Really, Lena! What has gotten to you these days?” Ah, there’s the mockery tone she hasn’t missed.

She reaches for the TV remote and turns on the TV, soon locating a news channel. What she sees is shocking; Supergirl fighting against a blonde woman that is strangely familiar, but the hero is clearly losing. It’s odd, and altogether awful to watch.

“Who would imagine that we wouldn't need to do a thing to stop this abomination they call a hero?” her insides protest.

The ground is soft and unsure under her feet, but Lena gets up anyway. The need to vomit is bigger than her legs’ sudden weakness.

“Where are you going?”

“To do something,” ‘ _after throwing up,’_ she thinks, “before they kill her.”

“You still care for her,” his voice is so full of certainty — it’s nauseating, really.

She turns to face her brother or the man who he is now — who he may always have been, but Lena never saw it until the first time he kidnapped her (although she didn’t want to see it. _Denial is a powerful thing_ , and maybe she has been denying more than she allowed herself to think she is).

“What I _care_ for is our lives. This Earth might be Hell, _Alexander_ , but I won’t allow these people to control it to their will.”

He _laughs_. Loud and free.

“Oh, how _grand_ of you! Talking about how Leviathan can’t control us. I mean, the hypocrisy of it, Lena!” another laugh. “Is it because they would hurt humankind, or because they are hurting your precious alien friend?”

She steps forward only to backed again before doing something that would get her in jail, like killing her own brother that happens to be one of the champions of Earth-Prime.

“God, how I wish you’d stayed dead,” the amount of loathing in her voice doesn’t do any justice on how Lena truly feels about the man. 

The young Luthor leaves before she can hear Lex refute her.

* * *

No vomiting happened on her way to assist Supergirl. However, Lena is disoriented by dread as soon as she gets closer to where her ~~former~~ best friend is, facing an alien able to manipulate all forms of technology. The dismay disarmed the young Luthor almost completely once she realized how _familiar_ the scene is. When fighting Reign, Supergirl was in the same physical state; bleeding, unable to hold her stance for too long even though she had been trying to give her best.

It’s almost taking part in a collective dejà vú since the moment is so similar to that horrifying clash of Titans.

The difference is that now Lena is crushed by the aching thought of losing her ~~former~~ best friend. It never really hit her that maybe all Kara wanted was to have someone in her life that wasn’t constantly worried about her safety or someone who didn’t think she could handle every form of blow and punch only because she was Supergirl.

How could Lena have known that she was a kind of safe haven to Kara? 

She was never seen as this type of person — a person someone else could trust blindly to be themselves. 

Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long for the Luthor to be seen by Kara and the other blonde woman.

Panic and fear flashes across Supergirl’s face and Lena mimics as she sees the new face of Leviathan Corporation advancing for the final blow.

“Lena! Go home--”

“Supergirl, watch out!”

They shout at the same time.

Whoever this woman is, she is extremely smart since her final blow has nothing to do with punching the hero; it’s worse than using kryptonite to hurt the Girl of Steel and Lena knows it because she once had used the same strategy to get through Kara — her unfaltering kindness. Watching a close grocery store building exploding while people are still inside is bad, but Lena can’t deny is not worse than realizing that everyone got away seconds after the blast, except one person.

Panic fills the atmosphere, however only Lena Luthor is the one on a verge of a panic attack. There’s a shy green glow on the remains of the building that triggers her sorrow, anxiety, and despair. And it doesn’t matter how Leviathan got their hand on kryptonite, not right now.

All that matters is Kara, who is under the building debris that was definitely kryptonite wall lined. The raven-haired dashes to the building and not even the sickening feeling at the bottom of her stomach is enough to stop her.

Despair feeds strength somehow and Lena doesn’t think about how her useless muscles work to move all the wreckage to get to Kara or how dizzy she feels while doing it because of her constricted breathing. No, she only thinks of Kara.

It has been almost two whole months since their last talk — the one that put them at square one again. The young Luthor can’t accept that the very last thing she said to her (former?) best friend was for her to leave Lena. It can’t be the end. 

It can’t be and it _won’t_.

Kara has taught her to not give up on what matters, on _who_ matters. Lena has loved James because she had learned with Kara how to. 

_There is no line in the Universe I would not cross to keep you safe._

She has felt that way because Kara had shown her how beautiful love could be once you let people in. And Lena didn’t feel sad for her relationship with James ending on such bad terms; it helped the woman to realize she could feel that kind of love for someone again.

In her panic-induced state, the Luthor doesn’t feel the heat from the explosion fire emanating from the debris, she doesn’t feel the cuts in her hand, and she doesn’t notice she isn’t alone anymore, that the National City heroes are here to assist Supergirl. They help how they can — minus J’onn J’onzz for whatever reason. 

As soon as Kara’s face appears, Lena’s breath gets caught in her throat. The hero not only look very bruised, sporting dry blood on some spots while losing more blood altogether, but she also looks so _small_ knocked unconscious like this.

She lets a tiny sob escape.

“Kara, please--”

Finally, Lena notices she isn’t alone with her best friend. Alex’s hands are shaking so much the older Danvers can’t hold her sister properly.

“--no, no. Kara, not again. C’mon, Kar, don’t do this to me. _Please_.”

Looking around, she sees Dreamer hiding her face on Brainy’s shoulder, but Lena still can see tears and quivering lips. Brainy himself looks stiff although squeezing Alex’s shoulder as a way to show support. It’s sad and fucking painful to watch.

“Don’t die on me, Kara! I don’t think I can--”

Alex shuts up when Lena decidedly gets up to carefully move Kara closer to herself. The young Luthor plants her feet firmly on the ground and adjusts Kara’s hurt body closer to hers until the hero is on her arms.

The weight doesn’t bother Lena who never once thought about _her_ carrying Kara in bridal style like now. Her knees are weak, and her arms muscles are burning but Lena keeps walking out of there — being followed by Dreamer, DEO’s Director Alex Danvers, and Agent Querl Dox. 

“We don’t have much time. There was kryptonite embedded on those walls.”

“Put her on the van. We’ll get her on the sunbed now!”

Alex says clearly not caring for the fight aftermath; the destruction caused by Supergirl’s and Leviathan’s fight is a problem for another time, and Lena agrees with the older Danvers for once.

* * *

Director Danvers takes her time. Lena understands — poorly, though — it’s a sister thing, however, she wants (no, she _needs_ ) to see Kara especially now that Lex owes the DEO. Maybe it’s time for Lena to build a sunbed for her friend; the woman doesn’t want her brother near the hero.

(The presence of kryptonite on the explosion is suspicious enough.

How did Leviathan get their hands on such rare and highly secured substance?)

So, she stays. No matter how hard it is to her.

It’s cruel to see how vulnerable Kara looks. Sleeping on the sunbed while slowly healing, the blonde hero almost seems truly human. The pang in Lena’s heart warns her — she made some mistakes since her brother had told her about Kara’s true colors.

Everything she has done so far; all her decisions were made because she was hurting. All logic and reason she once had were gone with the wind, and Lena was never good on deciding things emotionally. Her feelings had always clouded her judgment badly because the woman had never learned how to properly feel her emotions, let alone how to balance head and heart.

Once Alex leaves, Lena takes her place at the med-bay. She sits on the chair close to the sunbed and grabs Kara’s hand, holding dearly as her life depended on that touch.

It hits the young Luthor like a derailed train how much she had missed this type of affection, especially from the still asleep blonde. Her eyes are burning, an obvious signal for future tears, however, she swallows because the woman can’t cry — it isn’t fair to Kara who has endured so much these past months.

Since before the crisis.

Lena gently squeezes Kara’s hand lightly this time.

She won’t cry, _no_ , and the quiet sob is all she releases.

“I’m _so_ sorry for all of this, Kara. I shouldn’t-- I, I hurt you more than what you did hurt me, and I don’t--” a deep breath, “I don’t know if we can ever go back the way we were. You were my _best_ friend and I, I kept burning our bridges out of hurt and--”

Lena knows it isn’t fair to admit her blame while Kara is pretty much in a comatose state but the Luthor was never brave enough for this sort of thing. She could offer her life to save people, maybe, but admitting she has hurt someone while equally still hurting? It takes a type of courage she hasn’t yet.

“I guess what I am trying to say is that I’m tired, and I miss you more than I-- more than I feel hurt by you. I don’t want to do this anymore, I don’t-- I didn’t mean to wound you deeply, and I know we have a long way to go until we can fully forgive each other and maybe, maybe we will never be the same again, but I--” she sighs; a piece of her wishes Kara is listening in her profound sleep, “I am willing to try. I am willing to accept my role in this mess as long as you admit yours because we are both guilty. Do you hear me, Supergirl? I’m also to blame for and I recognize that.”

The former L-Corp CEO studies Kara’s wounds — along with the punches that have marked the blonde’s face, there was some internal bleeding caused by the explosion and respiratory issues due to the fire smoke mixed with kryptonite.

It felt like Kara wouldn’t make it, seeing how she’s in that bed two days straight and counting but the DEO doctors had said the prognoses were good and that it could have been way worse (if not for Lena removing her from the debris soon enough).

As for Lena, she is on muscle relaxants and pain killers although a nosy doctor tried to say to her she may have twisted a few muscles, which _might_ be true because there are parts of her body that still hurts like hell but she doesn’t mind at all. Also, she has some first to second degrees burns in her hand’s palm — nothing some ointments wouldn’t help.

The coughing fit claims Lena’s attention immediately but when she tries releasing Kara’s hand to get a cup of water, the blondes tightens slightly the grip.

“I’m going to get you some water,” she explains even though Lena doesn’t try moving again.

“No, I, I don’t want it.”

“Kara, you need to get--”

“You.”

“--hydrated,” her face is pure confusion now. “Me?”

“Yeah… I, I appreciated that… what you just said. I’d like that… trying… and, and listening…” Kara’s smile makes Lena’s heart strangely swells just enough for her knowing they are going to be just fine.

“And forgiving…”

The raven-haired barely registers her own beaming smile.

“And forgiving,” she repeats.

For the first time after those dark months, feeling she was living in the shadows, Lena feels that a ray of light has finally found a gap to enter and light the room, light her heart and mind. Not like daylight but more like an afterglow — the light that comes after the sunset.

And she feels everything is going to be alright now she has found the light in the darkness, finally.

**Author's Note:**

> Making into a series has lifted a weight from my shoulders. It's working better for me than doing a multi-chapter story! (Has any writers around here feel the pressure of seeing the **1/?** too or is it just me?) Anyways, tell me what you thought. Feed a new content creator who is too excited about writing the pairing! c:


End file.
